Thread: My Heaven
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Old 02-04-05, 06:24 PM   #1
distilled
hullabaloser
 
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My Heaven

IP:

I listen through bruised ears, Not through Force but by choice,
My own thoughts pin down my first decisions to raise my Voice,
Silent In the corners, Never See Me with crowds of people,
Whenever I talk with others, They Act Like I was see through,
So I silently sit, Thoughts escalating to way beyond normality,
'Cos I’ve fallen way past the edge, of the Social balance beam
I Get up to leave the room, Not knowing what’ll come after,
I tell myself I don’t want to do this, But In reality I have to,
No one to look after, or to watch out for, Nothing Left for me,
I know what’s best for me, everything around’s just stressing me,
I pray for an answer, But am left on a silent breeze with nothing in,
Apparently this is what god does to those with nothing left for them
I mean who’d want to help a suicidal, depressed, sociopathic waster,
When All I have now in the world, Is Lies, Anger, Guilt…..and Hatred.

Only Depression Forms Lately, Obsession Related,
This is not what I dreamed of, My lifeline Faded,
Pupils Dilated, Heart Pounding in the cage I put it,
Never to be heard by the world, My Mind? ... Shut It.


I wake in a daze, Wondering if I just dreamt my entire life,
Just picturing all 16 years through a single silent night,
I look around my room, the surroundings now seem strange,
I’m Like a relocated coma patient, waking in a new age,
Trying to remember my name, Life, anything that helps me,
But All I have in my mind is the violence of my last dream,
So Gradually I stand up, And make my way to the nearest exit,
Walk down the stairs, fully unprepared for the next hit,
3 children, so beautiful, sat together, in the room I stepped in,
I slump to the ground, wondering if this is lifes next lesson,
Maybe he saved me from my past life, put me here to ease my pain,
But how would that explain being unable to recall my name,
And how would 3 kids just appear, when I’m only 16 years old,
My cheek suddenly awakes, and I realise that my tears cold,
I’v been saved, released from all the evil I lived before,
I got a second Chance, and I’m not prepared to let my feet fall.
But Wait Whats This, I step outside, and only light appears,
I can't walk past my front door, Now I realise My Fears,
All True, I have passed on, And I'v left to somewhere peaceful,
People know My name, No more Thinkin That I'm see through,
Never Thought God was watching, But Now I know he was there forever
Cos Even Though I lived my life wrong, He helped me find my Heaven

-For The Haters, distilled
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