*listening*

I think you waited al ittle too long to come in. Maybe you should have had a little intro or something. I liked the lyrics, it just sounds like you're whispering on the mic. Stop being so scared and just get into it. You kinda chop up your words a bit too. Try to make all of your words connect with each other while still pronouncing them all. It's hard to do, but no one said rap was easy. You also needed to raise your vocals a little, I had to turn my speakers way up just to hear your words. You just need to become more comfortable with the mic. It seems like you are afraid to let people hear you. Just let it all flow out and stop second guessing yourself. If you mess something up, just start over. Sometimes I'll do a verse about 50-60 times just to get it right.

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