Aiight, sounds like a real underground style. I like your rhyme scheme and your delivery pulls it off well. I think your vocals could be improved but you used some fairly nice techniques.
The track itself was no classic, I think you need to work on having a more definitive style which is the same problem for a lot of underground artists these days. You seem to have your rhyme schemes and delivery down, so nows prime time to start working on your actual style and motivation as a rap artist. You need to think about what your actually trying to achieve or give listeners with your music and plan how your going to hit the industry.
Also think about the beats your using, this beat from ghost face is good, but like most Wutang beats its more or less just loops. Which makes your stuff sound amature or freestyled. Remember your making music and not just throwing words over an instrumental.
I didnt mind this track though; so keep at it man. Goodluck with your rapping.
Also hit up my new track "One Day" in this forum and drop some good feed for me.
Peace.