you need more emotion on the hook like fab had..................static on the mic a lil bit.....................but the first verse rips for real, so nice job on that............again more emotion on the hook......................second verse when you hit the word HIgh or sky or something the mic peaked to loud..........not as good as the first verse..........ad libs might b too loud...................turn down the volume on your backups, and if you can lose the static on the mic, do the hook with more energy...............3rd verse is better then 2nd as far as lyrical wise talking..........again I think your vocals are too loud...........thats all I can say really, but you have a good rhyme scheme and you just need minor adjusments. hit me back
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=179850