Concept is strong, had a good emotional vibe over it but like Fluidmoon said, fix your spelling because it's nicer and easier to read. The vocab was nice, kept it quite simple which added to the sense of pureness. Felt like it was written from own life experience and it's easy to relate to, tried to have some different levels which made the reader think about some things. Haven't got too many bad comments, just expand it a little maybe and edit the spelling, it'll be a big difference...

DQ

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