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Old 03-08-05, 05:44 PM   #5
Germ
in your system
 
Posts: 7,619
From: Adanac
IP:

yeah not bad, cant say it doesnt need some work...like the other guys said, structure needs alot of work, flow was aight, could be better, but it was your first (freestyle) so of course it aint goin to be perfect....yeah, so work on your structure, and upp your vocab and wordplay....expand that vocabulary and it will make your works alot more worth reading....word....keep up yo
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