like multi sylabol rhymes... really poor job at the end of your lines using this technique.
Very amature usage of multis and played metaphors...

You wanted to know what you did wrong now there it is. I'm not jealous... I figured since you've been here a while you knew what you did wrong. However you did a GOOD job of showing emotion... which is cool.

If you could leave some feedback on my open mic "you don't know me" I'd appreciate it.

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