http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=181336 return the favor

dowloading this right now......to much chapping your lips at the beginning, why didnt you use a beat? wow, that BIG shit was terrible, you lost the flow way bad.............wow, your smacking your lips so bad it sounds like your chewing gum..........i will try and help you out, you need to get a beat, cause it sounds like your reading, i mean did you even go back and listen to it? when you say, you dont need to put any delivery into, well your right, you didnt. your just talking. go back and listen to it, then listen to a rap song, like whatever you like, biggie pac whatever, go listen to them, they are flowing, like singing it out, your just talking. I am not hating dog, I am just trying to help. I am far from a vet at recording my own vocals, but I would be embarrassed to put this out for people to hear. But its ok, you should hear some of my earlier stuff it was mad terrible. Just work on, you can only go up from here, look at like that, and get serious with trying to flow instead of just reading, and rhyme like learn a lil about bars and rhyme them, like when you say, "I'm hood, I keep a cigar in my mouth like suge" you are kind of flowing that out, but the rest your just talking, go listen to it yourself, and you might hear what im saying peace