checkin this out...............

think red took this one...on account of better idea and alot more imagery.....tony, you had a decent piece, but a little too basic, vocab could be better, and i wasn't really gettin any mental images.....but keep workin on it and you'll do fine....

red, thought some lines coulda been worded diff, some were a little simple, but for the most you stayed consistent, nice visuals created, strong emotion....nice twist at the end....keep up and maybe you'll be godly.....maybe, haha, word

nice battle

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