Voted For: Non Capisco

okay, this actually wasnt that bad for both writing your first topicals

genius...aight, you're on the right track i think...but your structure and flow need alot of work, try and keep it consistent, dont make bars too short, and dont stretch, gotta find a nice medium....i was feeling the verse most in the middle...thats when you started into a nice groove of imagery and emotion....using descriptive words to paint a picture of the events....i think if you work hard, you could be a pretty decent topical writer, but you still need to elevate alot, but not bad for your first drop, keep up

capisco....i was pretty impressed with this piece, for your first...you had really good imagery/emotion, which is what separated...you had a good handle on the vocab, but in some places it coulda been better...wordplay was good....you had decent structure, it was a little off at times....but overall, you stayed pretty consistent with that.....very good imagery, but you still need to work alot too, id suggest, structure...tune up on that....and vocab and wordplay....so, good drop by both for newbies...good job

v/non capisco

__________________