i went in some rooms and took a couple of shrooms
blew my brains out and they pickin it up with brooms
suicide is what the cheif assumes as time consumes
nobody knows why a guy would blow his brains sky high
there's only a couple million ways ta commit suicide & die
i sighed went in the bathtub witha toaster & got electrified
as i lay for my last few breaths fried i slowly slipped & died
family members found out and cried sat down and denied
i already blew out my brain so i jump in front of a train
got in the wrong lane got roasted like flamin propane
as people stand at my funeral where i'm layin it's rainin'
people complainin that they the ones people should be blamin
as i left a suicide note on a piece of looseleaf paper
i decide too climb up top and jump off a skyscraper
i better go cuz i dont wanna spend time in jail for bein a raper
now i want ta choke so i go and hang myself with a rope
do i live this time?? NOPE!!! i die cuz my lines ain't dope

this song gon' be responsible for the deaths this year
i'm helpin ur suicide problem go to a bank and rob 'em
become a criminal then kill urself ta keep it trivial
leave 'em with the question "why" & check the 80 ways 2 die

i feel like shit so i go and leave my throat slit
i gotta admit this suicide spree just wont quit
take some minutes 2spit and slit my own wrist
leave the hatas pissed that i'm off their hit list
i died without bein dissed no girl ta leave kissed
i been overly exposed so i took drugz & overdosed
i could die any second this may be my last post
now i'm pissed as fuck so i grab a bomb and blow myself up
if i get shot at i'm not even gonna bother ta duck
i know i suck so i'm gonna jump in front of a moving truck
while i'm hangin from a wire i'm lighting myself on fire
preachin to the choir bout how i'm not even admired
so if your sick and tired of not havin what is required
and u need sumthin ta get by then check this 80 ways ta die

this song gon' be responsible for the deaths this year
i'm helpin ur suicide problem go to a bank and rob 'em
become a criminal then kill urself ta keep it trivial
leave 'em with the question "why" & check the 80 ways 2 die