eh...i read it and it doesnt really look like rap to me. its a good story man, and it rhymed. so props for that. i think tho that maybe you should try to actually write raps. i dunno. why you getting no feedback? its because your not writing rap and your story wasnt even interesting. try to be more creative with your shit. i write for mixtapes and shit so when i am writing i try to think what are people gonna really like to listen whats some dope idea or situation i can capture and make it dope so people are gonna wanna bang it in their car n shit. thats my views. try not to take them the wrong way because it is constructive.

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