As turban said.. youre depressed because youre looking back at bad memories. Even when you think about the good memories you have there is a bit of pain. Like your girlfriend and you had your first date and it went perfect... you loved her everything was fine but then you broke up. When you think about the good memories there's that connection to the bad ones. You had a perfect first date then you broke up. All you can do is move on and try opening new doors. Get a hobby you have never done before. Fishing or drawing, something that can take your mind away from the bad ideas you have. Writing in a journal is very good for you... And some males might say stupid shit like "Your gay you have a diary" but thats not what you have. You have a journal with thoughts and ideas and poetry and raps and what not.

On another note... Psychiatrists are the worst people to hwlp with your problems. All they do is tell you stuff you already know subconsciously. Like say your parents beat you and now youre violent or uncaring or you dont open up easily. You already know why, its because of a traumatic event like that swing of a belt or another traumatic event. We all know why we do the things we do subconsciously, but we are too afraid to be real with ourselfs because the truth hurts. Thats why when we do something stupid or wrong 9 times out of 10 your answer will be I dont Know. When in all reality we do know what we are doing and why we are doing it, we are just too afraid to come to grips with reality, because its easier to deal with.

And perscription drugs.. anti-depressants are unjust. Granted youll be happier mentally, and youll think youre fine after years of medicine but then one day something happens and youre depressed again. Plus anti depressants have a ton of side effects that could permantely disable you in one way or another. My mom takes those and shes happier than she was but she lost her sense of taste because of them, and she has migraine headaches that last days because of the drugs.

All in all move on with your life and dont dwell on the past look forward to the future. you dont want to kill yourself because you never know what youre gonna miss out on.

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RV's Only 3 Time Topical Tourney Champion