Originally Posted by villagepimp

nice imagry & shit... dman... best rtf read ever... lol.... 8/10... keep it ol' schoo' pimpin' yo... (<-no idea why I just said that)

Originally Posted by Dabatos

your imagery was more then dope man.. it was f'n amazing.. i could picture myself in that battle.. how i look around all my comrades are dead and im the only one standing up.. shyt.. this was a long piece.. and wen i first saw the whole verse i was like.. damn i gotta read this whole shyt?? hell no.. but then immidately after the first 6 bars.. i was like wow.. this shyt is good and then i continued on reading it.. I seriously can't wait for the second version.. yo u gotta promise me that you'll pm me wen this shyt comes out iight? dam

Originally Posted by Kesse

holy FUCK headgames, why didn't you tell me about this earlier.....you may have had shitty structure (well not that bad), but your IMAGERY IMAGERY was fucking amazing, wow, its like i was fucking fighting that war.....holy shit, this seriously, was such an emotional/imaginative piece, unbelievable how you incorporated both those aspects so wonderfully, JESUS! i loved this.....and it wasn't predictable, WHICH IS SO REFRESHING.....FUCK YOU ASSHOLE, POST MORE OPEN MICS

Originally Posted by In-Vision

this was a really dope piece...i loved the concept of this..especially since i did a...somewhat religious piece myself...and eventhough it's just references...it holds some appeal to me...because i did something similair...very nice though....

Originally Posted by CriTiC

Sup man this is a very dope verse, I don't understand how you have had
so little feedback.

The emotions in the verse was on point, you painted a clear image on the
world in your writing which is dope.

Vocab was very good, flowed pretty nice lost it at points but u explained
why. Had inner rhyming which again is dope so altogether a pretty hott
verse.

1~

Originally Posted by Sweft

Wow, I can really learn alot from you man. keep this shit coming. Normally I can do like, two things at once. But I told everyone on AIM to brb cuz i had to pay att: to this.

Keep this up. Mad props.

sweft

Originally Posted by ¤ÐÅž¤

vocab n imagery was pretty feirce in this fam
im impressed, you need to drop more om's like this...
this was defiately the best of read from you thus far bro..
although the lines n ryhme scheme was a lil off, everything
else made up for it
..well done

Originally Posted by Tha Q

I can tell u don't do audio...LOL...I'd love to hear u hit the snare with these long lines...but they are well written

good message and concept...

everything was good...

However, this would be doper with more multies...


not bad homie


1

Originally Posted by Bonecollector