Wow.. once again a very dope verse.. yea u were right your structure was off but its cool.. cuz this is sorta like a poem.. Your vocabulary was really on point.. but wow.. some words u used i didn't even know. u made me look it up lol... And your emotion.. i really couldn't feel any, iono if its jst me.. but i couldn't feel any.. i couldn't feel what you feel you know??? so work on that.. but wut really got to me is ur imagery again.. your vocab helped you on this.. i could really see the world crashing into its ruins.. so nice job on that man...

8/10

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