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Originally Posted by Dabatos
Wow.. once again a very dope verse.. yea u were right your structure was off but its cool.. cuz this is sorta like a poem.. Your vocabulary was really on point.. but wow.. some words u used i didn't even know. u made me look it up lol... And your emotion.. i really couldn't feel any, iono if its jst me.. but i couldn't feel any.. i couldn't feel what you feel you know??? so work on that.. but wut really got to me is ur imagery again.. your vocab helped you on this.. i could really see the world crashing into its ruins.. so nice job on that man...
8/10
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It's not sorta like a poem, it is a poem, lol, but ya I was just writing it for english class, that's why there isn't any emotion, cuz I didn't put any into it when I was writing lol, I just wrote this as a piece to mostly show off my vocab but it ended up dope, so ya I dropped it here, first time I ever wrote a poem where every line had it's own secret metaphorical meanings behind them lol.....