Your flow was good, but it seemed you tried too hard to get the rhyme scheme to be perfect rhymes, although your words were very well written and thoughts were portrayed well, i think you should try a more free write approach and give yourself up to the pen,so to speak and just let your thoughts just flow out of you....i think this will be of help to you, but nice job,you have great potential..1

__________________
"QUOD ME NUTRIT, ME DESTRUIT--AUT VINCERE AUT MORI"

O Y D

*FluidMusic*


*Poetic Scriptures Moderator*