ok i hate simple rhyme schemes when the poem could be so much deeper this is a topic thats been done a billion times to make it stand out you gotta bring dope visuals which i feel you failed to do what you say you say you have no undertone to this piece and that kills it.vocab is good but not used right it fails at times here not trash but needs massive work try to draw pictures our play on emotions take more time to be more descriptive in your imagery and it will build a stronger drop leave feed on other pieces

__________________