Yo, this reminds me of me wayyy back in the day. I used to chop the lines just like this!
This had feeling. But you need better structure and you need to up your vocab. I like it... i really did. I opened this page and I was like, yupp.. me 4-5 years ago. Over all this is a good piece and worth the read.
Yo, do me a favor and check out my shit. Read it. I promise it is worth the read. Over all I give this a 7/10..
sweft

http://community.RAPVERSE.COM/showthread.php?p=2092510

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