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IP:
Stop exsesivly freeposting!...
This was a decent peice..
You used alot of emotions... good feeling ...
Your structure was off, and you really need to work on how you line up your barz..
Imagery was good , you really made the reader want to keep reading..
overall this was a decent drop.. alittle long , but it was really good,
next time try to elevate on wordplay ,vocabulary, and structure
Nice peice , keep it up , and hope to see more work from you in the future
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The Competition
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