Omg Theres Hella D.r In This Thread Ill Be Real Wit You Homie Cuz I Aint No Fake Dude This Was O.k Overall Much Too Long For One But Still Was Good.you Need To Use Better Vocab As Well As Better Metaphores It Seems As If You Sacraficed Imagery To Make It Flow Better And Ryhme Toghther More Fluidl;y Dont Do That This Is Poetry Let It Free Flow.other Then That Story Was Good Here The Imagery Was Good But Couldve Been Much Better Here Overall Too Long Bue A Decent Story In It.

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