Learn to spell you idiots –

For fucks sake. Why don’t people ever spell properly? There is a line between being alright (ala KOOL COL-B, and others that are OK with abbreviations), and looking like a dumbass. I understand abbreviations, I’m not going to say running when I could just as easily say runnin’, but what I don’t understand is when people spell like they are complete fucking queers.

I don’t care how smart you are, you could be the next Einstein for all I care, but if you don’t spell correctly to look “cool,” then you are an idiot. For example, dumb bitches that talk to me on MSN/AIM… I don’t want to talk to anyone, I’m tired, and I don’t care about you. Then out of nowhere that annoying MSN noise interrupts Bone Thugs n’ Harmony. I click the window only to find some fucking idiot with an email like “lipgloss_princess87876@hotmail.com” or “2_sexxy_4_u_lolz_@hotmail.com” that’s saying something like “omg heyz! how is u 2dai?!...?..? :P” … Before anything more can be drilled into my head turning me into a serial killer, I change my status to “away.” Only to return to the window about to click the “X,” and find “erm me iz bored, is u rly awayz? If u rnt itzd b kewl” ….

Using psychic powers, I found out where that dumbass lived, went there and pulled a triple backhand flying dragon combo into her eye. I simply can’t stand idiots like that. How could you demean yourself so ridiculously? It’s beyond me. To anyone who types like that: You’re a fucking idiot. Go get some dignity by eating your own shit for money, you dumb bitch. They should make a street fighter character called “Stupid teenie bopper that talks like an idiot,” so I can kick their ass with a kick ass character like Ryu. Or a tekken character called “Dumb MTV bitch that gets big SMS bills” so I can kill her with someone like Eddie Gordo.

Speaking of Eddie Gordo, he is the best guy ever, besides pirates. His amazing skills at the Brazilian martial art of Capoeira motivated me to learn it. He kicks everyone’s ass, especially dumb bitches. Nobody can beat him. If you have ever played tekken and don’t like Eddie, you’re either a queer, a metrosexual, or a woman, and I will kill you. Who else could pull off an an Au Batido Armada Queixeda S-Dobrado Macaco with such ease. Not some gay character that other people would like, that’s for sure.

Anyway, back to idiots that are stupid. There are actually males who do this as well. I could rave on for hours about how outrageous this is, but I must draw one thing to your attention; The word “coolies/cooliez.” Any man who says that immediately sprouts a vagina and starts to like Oprah. That is dumbest word I have ever heard. If I said to a friend “Hey man, let’s go chill at <somewhere> and smoke buds while talking about what hot famous bitches we want to drill” and he said “ok, sounds coolies” I would hang myself with my abnormally large penis. You’re supposed to say something big and hearty like no problem bro, let me just strangle a small animal first and wash my car, or yarrr. “Coolies” is an abomination.

After asking some dimwitted bitch why she types like a fucking idiot, I gathered that these people are trying to be “cute.” If you’re fat, you can’t be cute. That rules out 99.987765457457575% of the people who type like dumbasses. And the rest of them, why do they have to try to be cute by looking stupid, why not be cute by showing me your boobs, or getting on my dick. There’s nothing cuter than watching a bitch suck your dick. So hop to it. And by hop, I mean don’t be a fucking dumbass.

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