Whyte Ave.: I love how you worked out the topic by first giving a global view of life in fact and then talking about your own life. Your choice of vocabulary was excellent because you kept it rather simple which made the message you brought more powerful and effective. The emotion was so pure, I really enjoyed reading this piece!

MC IgGY: you made me picture everything in my mind and the way you went with the topic is quite good. I just feel you could've used more ithe imagery, more emotion. Don't get me wrong: you had nice emotion but not always consistent. For instance, those last 2 lines were excellent: "And watch it grow, feel love for what we have created. That is the reason we are here, this is God's Plan." <----- if you had this sort of stuff all the way through, it would've been best without a doubt

But now my vote goes to Whyte Ave. for getting me more into the poem, no hate whatsoever!

DQ

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