I can't breathe, everyday cold shivering feeling's swim up my spine
split personality, dealing with reality, trying to catch up for lost time
no family, no feelings to share, IM scared, with out anyone to express love
ten years of hard-core drugs, fighting thugs, my life these days suck
i am a stupid fuck, life never took much, i should of tried harder on believing
all my life under achieving, a looser kid whose family is gone, my hearts bleeding
used up my teenaged years grieving, getting in fights, or catching bullets
creating open wounds, while constantly using shrooms, i couldn't control it
had a decent job, then got popped, for being a snot nosed little thief
they never let me explain or speak, never given a chance, just told me to leave
i couldn't believe, how cruel this ugly world can be, so i stuck to the streets
supposed to be an orphan, i was told my Mom wanted an abortion, but decided to keep
me as her only son, but what had she done, i was better off dead than alive
but instead, IM a no good kid, who doesn't have shit, but a fucked up life
-speaks to God-
''why has this happen to me, what makes you believe, this is what i deserve
is there a reason, am i a demon, who was sent to suffer on this waste of earth?
is this a curse, punishing my mother, or father for something evil they committed
why me?, IM sorry for they're wrong doings, but i promise you i never did shit
man i wish, i can turn back time, to become a better person, your true servant
ill always love you, but i can't like you, like my parents who have me hurting.....''-----
but it's to late now, i can't turn back, it's to late to get on the right track
my minds whack, this shits jacked, insane in the brain and that's a fact
i don't care, i smell death in the air, but IM not sure if IM suicidal
IM not fine, but each time, i cut my self my face brings a silly smile
like its worth my while, people hate my style, thinking IM no good
but understand, IM now a man, born on the street's in a rotten hood
I feel this is my test, fuck you, fuck life, fuck the rest
fuck my community, fuck the people, I am the best
but.....
i cannot feel blessed, when I am constantly stressed
never knowing when ill die, knowing I am close to the edge