This poem was good for what you were trying to say, it was cut and dry and to the point, watch your spelling though and you're grammar, you have the idea for a certain kind of rhyme scheme down, but don't try too hard to rhyme words together just so they fit, which makes a poem look too mechanical, i'm just giving you ideas and being honest,this wasnt bad,and i think you have potential in this area, and if you have more to say in a poem,you could try every other line rhyming, to say more or try middle word rhyming, this was a good piece thoguh,keep dropping..1

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