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Old 04-30-05, 06:36 PM   #5
Dabatos
C.hristopher S.ean D.abatos
 
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Posts: 5,693
From: Bay Area
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fi-Del
good drop, rhymes arent too bad, solid amount of emotion. you should try get more creative , i unno, i lost a bit of interest half way thru it. sorta seemed predictible. try flipping twist's into your drops and they will be dope.

ok drop yo,just try finish it leaving the reader thinking, it seems like you got bored of the topic yourself so quickly started to round it all up and finish it.

still a nice topical yo.

~F-D~


pretty nice piece right here man.. the rhymes were okay but not realy needed.. because i could really feel the emotino, but yeah.. like DQ sed.. it was really easy to know how the verse would go.. but yeah.. the imagery was very good.. and i could really see how much ur elevating now man.. nice drop..
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