no the imagery on this was nonsense you jumped all over and became too descriptive boring the reader with nonsense in the progress your poem basically never moved from one spot you tried vocab but it seems forced in many places here emotion was ok but worded wrong here this is a newb poem not wack but remains many venues for improvement it started off decent stuck in one spot then moved to the next and stuck there the topic has been done 938093875208-54 times already and much better dram queen did it real nice like a month ago your shit is neither creative ora good read you need to work on better imagery like you had in the first few lines and move around with your imagery better describe better whats going on in better vividness.
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vvv AND A NEW LEVEL OF HERB EMERGES vvv
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ysdat
No I wont battle you, usage of the word ducked is played. get over it Im mod........have a nice day.
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^^in other words your scared running from a battle on a site made for battling and your mod so you dont have to battle you just duck and pop shit?
herb
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