Short. It's okay to write something short for an OM every once in a while, but you'll see a better improvement in your writing if you try to consistently write longer verses.
Overall I think you showed a basic foundation to build on. You understood the use of similies and metas, and had decent flow. I think the biggest things you need to work on are your structure and mixing up your vocabulary. Don't try to force your creativity in your punches or sims, that will just improve with every verse you drop. Keep your punches simple, yet original and you'll be just fine. Stay up.

feedback
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=190090

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