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Old 05-16-05, 07:05 PM   #1
Paranoid
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Posts: 3,248
From: Sask, Canada
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nice stucture decent flow pretty good imagery but i was thinking your rhyme scheme was a little off. work on that like intenral rhymes n shit. vocab could have been upped a little more but overall i rate it a C

rtf in my OM Morbid Thoughts

its Parallel
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