Meh Ok piece. The structure of is not good. The angle you approach wasn't good either. Then concept was ok, i see where your getting at, but it's kinda played to me. The vocab was good. The flow was ok, just don’t stretch your lines that much. The complex wasn't good. It still seems (in my eyes) basic. Just keep writing.
Return a feedback on my (vv) new OM "Silent Scream"
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=191237
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mystery Is a Freak!!
ITawAPuddyKat: Yeah, I guess. But I won't be a Lesbo for life.
Smartone Freal: oh so u DO have plans of turnin str8
ITawAPuddyKat: Well Yes, Yes I do.
Smartone Freal:

ITawAPuddyKat: Lol, all smiles aren't we? Lol
Smartone Freal: lol yea i cant hide what i think bout u
Smartone Freal:
ITawAPuddyKat: ...Oh, what DO you think about me? Lol
Smartone Freal: lol sorry thats private
ITawAPuddyKat: EWWWWWWW..*Sigged*