mizz fyre: imagery was good but not most important aspect of your verse, the strongest part was the emotion without a doubt. I like how you divide it into different parts, from a youngster to an adult. Kept the vocabulary rather simple but it gave the piece a more serene, emotional vibe in my opinion. You build up your story quite nice, personal interpretation of picture might not have been all that creative but it was good.

The Revelation: very creative approach of the topic and I love how you pictured the story from different point of views, it supplied a nice add-on to the piece. Found a good balance in your vocabulary, emotion was okay but could've been improved here and there. You had a very strong story just packed with imagery, I like how you inserted the balloon within the song she wrote and such. Twist was interesting and kept the readers focussed.

My vote goes to The Revelation for having a more creative approach but both had a nice piece of course!

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