|
<<-Carpe Noctum->>
|
IP:
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by Affliction
I’ve been sent from god, I’m a prophet
I’m destine to be on earth for a reason
Hate and good scribbled like an omelet
Trying so hard to stay out of the arson
When I was born, I knew at the end I die
Don’t know how, no fortune teller can tell
Death is like a gift, unexpected surprise
Which way will I go? Heaven or hell
It depends what obstacle I will take in life
Hopefully god, will direct me to the right
Bad as a big hole, good is small like an fife
Fate is always there, hopefully I step into the light
Love. Love love, what is there in love?????
Envy, jealously, fight between trust and scheme
Love is always be here, it’s nothing to avoid of
Love has tricks up it’s sleeve, eyes can deceive
|
^^^ overall it was pretty decent,it seemed more like you were talking, but maybe next time,switch up your flow/rhyme scheme to blend more together, to make the readers enjoy it more, the omelet part is where you lost it,just double check vocab and spelling and it will fall into place......not bad at all, keep dropping..1
__________________
"QUOD ME NUTRIT, ME DESTRUIT--AUT VINCERE AUT MORI"
O Y D 
*FluidMusic*
*Poetic Scriptures Moderator*
|