meh, i really think eph took this one, here's why

triple, althought you show great intelligence, i thought you over-did it with vocab, mainly because your lines/thoughts weren't that long, so it all seemed kinda forced, which took alot away from the imagery being pictured, and i think you really lacked emotion......it was a pretty cool angle that you took on this, the last like 4 bars, were really good, because the thought was detailed and it flowed really nicely........start and middle just seemed to force with the vocab, which hurt your piece overall

eph, cool piece, emotion at its purest here.....really felt it, nice ending too with the topic at hand.....and your imagery was good too which made this a great piece, especially in the 2nd verse.....overally, this was good, and nothing was really forced like triple's

props to both though, both great writers, but eph has this one

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