And God said to Noah:

I’m getting ready to overflow the earth with a liquid bandage
To be wound round the world’s wounds
My mind is full to the point that it must refuse more refuse
And I have chosen you to lead the chosen few
As soon as you choose to get the lead out

So, as I imagine it:

Noah made a sign of peace
With a piece of pecan pie in his right hand
In doing, so he decided to desert his sweet tooth in the desert
For there was no time like the present to present
His God with such a present right?

I mean, what more could he ask for:
A painting of a fat freshwater bass on the side of his bass drum?

Now, the wind from above was too fierce to wind down
The sail from the mast to sail the arc
And since there was no other boat for sale
There was a row amongst the sailors about how to row the boat
You see, the one close to the door chose not to close the deal

Apparently, he said:

“The captain does funny things when the does are present
He seems as giddy as the seamstress in Gomorra who made love
To the sewer in the sewer line”

However, being that the rower was but the son of Noah
His voice box quickly became number from receiving a number of
Prehistoric-style injections of a lil’ sump-um-sump-um

It came as no surprise to Noah, though
Since he had learned form his ancestors that time and time again
He would have to make amends with his own
For it was impossible to simply make only one amend


And just as a farmer continues to cultivate weathered land
To produce his fertile produce
Noah was limited to two goat’s kids
And didn’t wish for his three children to be reduced to two also

I mean, at that time it wasn’t gross to think
That a Grocery store Grocer wouldn’t one day actually groce
Yet, after putting two and two together he cringed:

“If a vegetarian eats vegetables,
A humanitarian wouldn’t eat a…human, would he?”

For if that was to happen the fate of his son Ham
Would undoubtedly be hammered
And he surely didn’t want that to happen
Then he’d have to teach one of his two sows how to sow!

Now, just ponder the position in which Noah was positioned
What else was his confused world to come to?
Eggplants had been created with no eggs
And pineapple had no apple or pine in it
As for sweetmeats, they were candies
While sweetbreads, they were meats!

I mean, any thought of why evil couldn’t be quickly destroyed in quicksand
Diminished with the realization that one would only sink slowly
And you could forget running sinners sick in circles in a boxing ring
Because even then the canvas was to be square

But, Noah never quivered in carrying out his mission
Without a doubt he wanted his descendents to have the opportunity
To polish the shoes of a future Polish Pontiff

For he didn’t want to worry
About explaining one day to pigs or the people of Guinea
That guinea pigs had nothing to do with either of them

Nor did he wish to divulge
That English muffins weren’t to be invented in England
Or that France was not to claim a single French Fry as theirs!

See, back then, it just didn’t matter
That more than one foot was feet
Or more than one tooth was teeth
For the decision that had been made to call more than one goose, geese
Surely didn’t nullify that more than one moose wasn’t meese
And more than one index wasn’t indices
For only one granule of rice was definitely not to be the same
As two peanut better filled cups of Reeses!

Poor Noah, but anyhow

Once he caught sight of the dove
Who dove out of the clouds with a branch in his beak
He did not think twice of objecting to the object
For he had not seen land in forty days

Reduced to but a sea-sick invalid
The sign of life was not simply an invalid sign of insurance
How could it be? It was reeled in by the symbol of a peaceful life itself

And only then did Noah chuckle
Looking up to the heavens with a wide grin
For he knew the odds were slim
Heck, more like a fat chance



obviously this is a piece i already wrote. it'z from an aethiasts view of reading the bible. blah

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