I really enjoyed reading this piece due to the simplicity yet power it had. I love how you managed to build the contrast between the good and the bad side. Also the melting together of emotion and imagery was excellent. Only thing you could work on is flow maybe but it has already improved heaps since last pieces I read from you, you shortened your lines. You keep the readers focussed throughout the whole piece by remaining a sense of mystery. Vocab was on point because it didn't affect the concent of your piece in a negative way, it even gave a more powerful feeling. The concept may not have been the best but the way you worked it out was excellent. Had a filmic vibe like a movie playing in front of your eyes due to imagery, strong and raw emotion as well.

Great piece!

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