CALI --> I liked your approach using a person abusing oxicotton drug...but naturally being your main topic of approach as a druggy in the procss of using the drug, your poem was a lot of description, and the imakes u created were nice like here:

Legs weary,Feet scared,Back heavy,weight of the world on my shoulders
Back hunched,chest weezing,arms weak stumbling slumped over
Spine cracking like thunder accross mountainsides,the pressure collapsing my frame
My pain like insane mindframes thoughts cracked like .......stained glass

^^dopeness..and the image created is vivid...However, there were a lot of flaws to your poem your structure made your content attimes hard to follow, due to the disrupted flow of your ideas, your vocab was on a high level and well used...Also, as ive sed 90% of your drop was description of the high the druggy was having...and you failed to talk about the emotion that was goin through his head..this is evidednced clearly by you only using the word "I" twice in your drop amongst other things...your rhymescheme is decent...

nice drop overall, just some minor issues..keep droppin and continuing to elevate, we can all do more of this

artisctica ments --->LMAO at your link...kinda doesnt set the mood man lol..put shit like that in your check ins next time...reading, and man 1st thing wheneva ur finished writing a poem CHECK FOR MOTHAFUCKIN SPELLING MISTAKES....you have a hella load of spelling errors, fix that shit next time...altho its gd as it shows ur using words that ur thinking of and not just using a theasaurus in microsoft word lol....this drop is dripping with emotion and its got a huge shock factor..the verse by the mother is straight raw man, but you described her fear and pain well, wihout being too cliched...:

I was struggling, but he was so much stronger. The look in his eyes is what fright me
THe fist is what started this pain. The force from it, is what blacked me out to the darkness
I woke up, in the middle of the day. Silence was all round me, then i felt something under my dress
Put my hand on my vagina. I burst into tears when knowing that still a condom was inside of me

^^raw man, thats poetry almost at its best, fix structure and syllables though, emotion,imagery and content..ill

you structure is neat and concise for 95% of your drp, and your lines flow well, as with CALI when you do describe the image screated are vivid and easy to see....You came from a less original perpesctive than CALI, but you did it almost flawlessly..solid drop...ill b looking 2 face you in the playoffs..you got a natural affinity to poetry...

this was battle of the week 4sho

VOTE = artitica mente

ppl vote plz...dnt jus read their drops and not have the courtesy to vote...

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