Thread: In moonlight
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Old 06-09-05, 08:19 PM   #4
~*Khatharsis*~
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ok, this is nice. would like to see a better structure mayb center it and add a text of like ARIAL or sumting like dat. but heres what i liked

The moon in the sky is waning and fading fast
Swear not by the moon the inconstant moon
^^^this, you came out to fast to the point. play yourself into the poem. dont rush into it.

The moon in the sky is waning and fading fast
Swear not by the moon the inconstant moon
Just as everything it won’t last
But if you wait long enough it will return again to light the night
Alone again in the dark with it’s stars
Filling some with hope and others with fright
^^^this type of ryming is messed up. not a very good way of expressing yourself. but its your poem. but you should always rhyme of the second bar. not off the first couplet.

It really has no light but only reflects back what it sees
On the horizon the fading sun feeds it
For the creatures of the night it gives love and frees
^^^this was pretty nnice. but as i said above this rhyme scheme is waldo writing.
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