Voted For: iLL as a killers grill®

aight i didnt quite get daz's ... ima have to go through it lines by line..

In the beginning there were 9 wonders like an inning…smirking and grinning,
Thou the earth wasn’t winning… man would cause symmetry with its sinning,
^^^inning... is that cricket talk?.. ... so the 9 wonders were happy, but the earth was shit, and then man would cause balance by sinning? eh??
Biased upon ways, we were only singular in decay…. Till religion was made,
The decision was laid, the last man standing a-cross, was to pay for our trade,
^^^we wer only decaying one by one until religion came? what? The second line is fragmented, but i think i get it.
Now if we stand with science, its facts and belief now traveling in an alliance,
Try to compromise both like mien’s …, but mines(minds)are still in defiance,
^^^First line I get sort of. But wtf @ the second line.. it doesnt make sense with the first line. and what is a mien?
Ive tried to walk the line of a purest, but it sure is, tough to see where the turn is,
So I list n listen to where the cure is, but the truth seems to be the furthest …
^^^first line was nice (if you meant purist and not purest), second line rhymes seemed slightly forced.
Thoughts are left doubting… while rights; are at best now joisting for sinning…
Decades of thinking. ”the end”, now move on n make this your new beginning..
^ ok................ wtf?

hmmm... it was OK I guess. But it didnt make a whole lot of sense. I thought about it in every way possible and was sort of able to put a vague meaning to it, but still.. wtf. It was full of malapropisms. The vocab was nice, but the way you used it wasnt. It seemed kind of like you were just trying to sound spiritual and curious by using big words and confusing voters. Flow was alright, but shit seemed kind of like you thought of rhymes AND THEN thought of the lines... so it turned out forced.

The whole plot/theme of it was unclear, but what I got out of it was that there was a pure beginning, which was destroyed by man.... which is a pretty general/common/boring outlook that you would see from a topic like "in the beginning".. ya know?

Nos: Flowed more like a track and less like text. Plot/theme was better than daz's I thought. That life is meaningless and the REAL beginning comes when we end. vocab was used better than daz's. Dunno what else to say...

Basically I thought nos took this because his verse made more sense and didnt seem as forced... plus his shit was more original... and thats truth.

Daz, you've got it all except diction. Improve ya diction and it'll improve ya verses.

__________________