hmm...i dont really kno wut to say about this piece...it didnt really make n e sense...ur wordplay was weak...and ur vocab too...u need to work on structure...the rhyme scheme in ur first six lines was fucked, seriously...this verse had no topic...it was just blah...so i cant really give u feed about that...u need to open ur mind up...and think of shit to talk about besides wut ur talkin about now...pretty weak overall...3/10

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