i liked it a lot, the structure was good, vocab was very fluent (not too flashy, which is good), the rhyming/multis were on point, and it was just overall very well written. However, you seemed to over use the phrase "die tonight" and "night" a little bit for it being only 2 verses (i counted 3- die tonight's and 4- forms of 'night's; counting only one hook and the verses), i really liked some of the phrases that you used like "I will absorb the cries because I already know that I was born to die
Dont mourn or sigh because I'll be watching so dont ignore the sky" although most of the multis were good, some seemed forced a little. For example, "Taking factual pauses at my funeral cuz you know it wasnt natural causes
Life loss is from crimes strife bosses hung and crucified on actual crosses" 'Factual pauses' sounded odd because what's factual about a pause? it's just something that you do. technically, it makes sense, but it's a stretch. I really liked how you phrased the crucification of jesus as a boss. Overall, I liked it very much. I would rate it a 8.5/10.