New to RV
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IP:
I thought it was okay, nothing really struck me as spectacular. You used alot of simple wordplay and metaphors. It could've been worded better, maybe then you're better lines would've stuck out more. Next time, try breaking it into bars or stanza whichever you feel more comfortable with. It represented what it's title suggested, so as for a love poem its decent. I wouldn't expect it to win any contest but that girl would like it.
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