Cali:

Aight, I Was Feeling Your Piece...I Was Liking The Whole Hood Mentality Thing and Relating To Growing Up In The Hood. Your Piece Was Touching, but It Doesn't Follow Topic. The Topic Is "Lost" and I Don't Feel Yours Really Followed That. Your Piece Would Fall Under More of Mis-Guidance or Something Close To That.

Best Lines:

"To bang for his cause which is no cause till the truth silences
Graphettied up walls of fallen soldiers in a war he forsakes"

"Mother cries just another brother that died for his flag
Bandanna colors means nothing we all rest in a black bag"

Black-Magic:

Aight, Your Piece Went Into A Complelty Diffrent Direction and Here I Felt The Topic Was Followed Nicely. You Had Some Good Imagery and Emotion Put Through This Piece and The Word Usuage In This Was Decent. You Need To Work On Vocabulary and More Creativity Though.

Best Lines:

"so much put on his mind, how could he handle tha strain
love dismantled tha flame, a mere candle in rain"

"its like i was dreamin first, until u look up n see tha clouds move
then in a second, u see tha heavans, fall n crush everything around you"

Vote - Black Magic

Return Favor on My Battle With Pen'N Paper

~R~