Aight gurl, I'll break this piece down for you...you can always RTF on any of links in my sig but ya don't need to

I really enjoyed reading this because once I started, I had to continue and see what followed next. I cannot really decide which aspect I found best: imagery or emotion. I feel that your imagery contributed so much to the emotion, like you were saying what you were feeling throughout certain images. Vocabulary was definitely at point, didn't overdo it but didn't keep it simple either.

You really made your dream visual to the readers, flow was okay and only "bad" thing I can say is skip the // at the end, it's not necessary. But who cares about that anyway? The content matters and that was so strong. Raw and pure, written from the heart.

Keep it up girl

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