Thread: Journey my body
View Single Post
Old 06-24-05, 09:42 AM   #11
DQ
Odi et Amo
 
DQ's Avatar
 
Posts: 3,675
From: Alosta City
IP:

Uhm it's an aight piece but guys be pussyriding like whoa haha...

Imagery was good, describing everything in a uhm clear way I guess, you said it straight forward. Emotion was best in the last lines where you say to be careful as if you were a china doll. It was a decent piece but you might try to keep more mysterious vibe and reword some shit so it gets a more poetic vibe.
__________________


Authentik Intelligence





...The future is mine...

Send a message via AIM to DQ Send a message via MSN to DQ Send a message via Yahoo to DQ   Reply With Quote