Blood pounding in my body, pressure up and chest convulsing,
eyes darkening with each breathe inhaled, I wish I could
find something to impale
All who caused me such pain, such torment and shame
Every time I get knocked down I see their grins at my despair
I hear their jeers when I get scared.
I feel invisible but yet I can feel their icy glares.
Every time I’m taunted, put down or “helped”
I feel as if I’ve been shoved down a deep deep well.
If I offend an innocent, sorry, but this emotion gnaws inside me
Feelings of frustration, angst and retribution, I want to get even
see my own constitution.
Falling down and getting back up is no problem unless you keep
shoveling on dirt.
You can’t see my hurt, just feel my outlash, touch the pain, and
look at an outcast.
Not fitting in, never going to, even if I do not sure that I want to.
Not going to mold, or conform to the world, not a good enough
Christian, I keep on prayin and wishin
I go on and on, daily tasks running around behind my mask.
Putting on my show, my aires and glows, watch me closely
and you’ll know, deep inside this hate grows.
Its never going to stop, I can’t unleash it or I’ll drop.
Because then my life will be over I’ll be dead or in prison
my rage going so far overseeing my vision.
Next time you say something to critique watch your words,
I can take most, but some is absurd
My heart made of stone is morphing into bone.

__________________


Sig Provided by: Christianite

3 nails + 1 cross = 4given
No matter how good you are there's always someone better.
I'm not the status quo stereotype you want me to be.