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IP:
This was pretty decent, you portrayed your feelings well,and the objective of the poem well, i think with some minor proofreading(for grammatical errors) this would be better, i think the structure..hmm,the way you end your lines so abruptly,makes it kind of choppy,but if you make your words flow better, your poems will be that much better, nice job, keep dropping.1
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O Y D
*FluidMusic*
*Poetic Scriptures Moderator*
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