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Old 07-03-05, 04:30 AM   #41
Mad Dog
...Belong...
 
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Posts: 8,635
From: Crawley, England
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Voted For: KhAoZ ThEoRy

Indeph Verse

g'luck fam

Damn homie you got respect,you a veteran, WAIT...
that fake quote,would probably work better when named.
^ Hmm wasn't feelin this as an opener a bit -_- IMO

that sig states a quote,that coulda brought up your hope...
yeah you could prove me wrong.....if I thought you were dope.
^ again kinda basic diss punch not ooo material fam

and there's a lie in the box you supposed to be reppin in...
nigga everyone got skills,on your level of excellence.
^ lol nice rhyme punch good in this bar nice diss

westside till you die,then after this you are midwest...
no more game no more dre,go and listen to dipset.
^ wack...no diss punch non existent

Go read a Book, "OF" shouldn't be O-V?...
shit,with you O.G's could of meant Oh Geez.
^ nice closer on the OV personal flipped quite good

Overall
Verse lacked dawg...2 out of 5 bars were good the rest was filler flow and structure were good it was the punches and personals that lacked under average verse IMO

KhAoZ ThEoRy Verse

Yo!..

Talkin bout ''strap up''?...Rockin a titty cup, Da heat in ur ''Bra''*
''Punch''? ugh, U dont even have da experience 2 serve at a Bar!
^ good opener punch ok diss = there

battlin u aint gettin very far, Lyke a Vietnemese on da Frontline
0-0? juz goes 2 show Ya skillz ''premature'' & this aint ur time!
^ diss there 1st line a bit meh 2nd line an hmm punch

we go Rhyme 4 Rhyme? so lame dude asked me 2 ''Swap Verses''
he got worried, no propps & it it took him dayz 2 Rehearse-His
^ -_- not feelin it i seen a lot of "took days to" bars

First Skriptz, Now U?..........Thanks dude, 4 siggin my ''Sonz''
ur juz ''weak-fun''...claimin ''its so hard'' 2 pull off a ''BIG PUN''
^ diss there Big Pun name was aight coulda been better though

if u own a Gun, stick ya ''trigger finger'' where it Belongs
..then rite b4 u ''pull''..go 'head & listen 2 Nirvana songs
^ diss -_- punch aight but not feelin it majorly

I'm not wrong, suicidez ya best Option, lyke Gothic Kids
only ''time'' u see'n ''action'' iz watchin old redman Vids
^ punch there but not ooooo but diss ok

Verses r hated, handstanin lookin at ''mom'' iz ur only ''wow''
shit ur shamin a legend...change da pic, cuz even he hates u now
^ ok closer diss str8 basic rhyme

Overall
Again not a great verse you threw more bars into it few more punches more time it looked like you put into this i think you got the win due to more on point punches & personals...but ima comment your vocab is's on some MaRVJay1009 shit lol...drop it if you writing for audio like that then fair nuff but in text you gotta be more understandable coz not everyone writes how you write words like "lyke" & "propps" it would be jus as easy to type "like" & "props" ya feel me...

V/KhAoZ ThEoRy...but overall under average verses from both
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