Yo......your flow was crazzzzzzzzy!!!!
I like this peice a lot.Obly thing that stumped me was that the title didn't fit.I know you meant quick 16 lines.But when I read it I thought it was some gay story about someone about to have his 16th. birthday or sumtin.Glad it wasn't though.

Wat would make it better is more profound descriptions.U had killer flow....but desciption could be better.

Nice peice