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Old 07-09-05, 05:53 AM   #10
Mad Dog
...Belong...
 
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Posts: 8,636
From: Crawley, England
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Voted For: Pablo Escobar

The Revelation Verse

Dear Blissful,

Though times were fun when I wasn't sure what was going on,
Time has come for me to mature because I am growning old to some.
The days when grass was green, sky was blue, and snow was whitening,
When people were perfect and there were no troubles or people fighting.
Where mommy and daddy were super heros and could never be wrong,
When people kissing was gross and "Wheels On the Bus" was my favorite song.
I know that you are used to this, because it happens to everyone,
And maybe someday we can hang out again when it is all said and done.
My speech is improving and inproper grammar is no longer cute,
My computer isn't just for games and a grape isn't just a fruit.
I can not believe in Santa, Easter Bunny, because I know the truth,
They are all fake, and the money I get is not from a fairy who wants my tooth.
The boogie man isn't scary and the monster under my bed is dead,
Instead of being complimented, I am being teased for being a red head.
People smoke, and drink, and have sex whenever they think it is best,
Everyday I learn new words like fetish, masturbator, and incest.
Leadership qualities I never knew existed seem to show with a problem,
Because like someoone said, If problems arise there is always a way to solve em.
Fore a problem is created by man so in essance there is a way to fix it,
If only life was like it once was with no stress and it was simplistic.
Jewelry was shiny and nothing but something fun to play with,
Girls were just people it was fun to spend one day with.
Laws and rules were just don't be mean but treat them nice that day,
Now I have to worry about what I say because I can be thrown in jail today.
Rape, muder, money, when did these things become important?
I guess when getting juice was as important as smoking a blunt.
The end was just a book title but now it what I must right to a girlfriend,
Well I guess it's time to say goodbye, and to you I wish the best my friend.

Sincerly,
Ignorance

Overall
Nice verse was feelin it had some nice rhyming i liked the topic but i think the approach coulda been handled differently IMO but it was on point throughout some ok multies flowed well structure ok should of centred though wasn't mostly ignorance you put out it was mostly facts coz yea boogie man ain't real neither is tooth fairy but ignorance is more thinking your always right when even you are wrong by fact...it was a good verse though would of liked to hear this over a beat wit vocals.

Nostradamus Verse

Shit.
Blissful ignorance is a luxury for the weak minded.
Close ya eyes, throw on some headphones and try to find it.
As for me..

Well..

I'd brutally sever the spine of that crazy lady luck.
Shes like a slut getting assfucked & you aint even need a buck.
..Because I'm busting for something & I dont know what to call it.
It aint world peace-----cause world peace, hes an alcaholic.
Often talking on that old shit, the futures real, inherit it.
Never be scared of it, cause winners be prepared for anything.
The world is a harsh place, I dont needa tell you.
You seen it every day, on the news, its in your face.
From hells view, were open wide enough for them to get through.
But give an inch, they take a mile remember that dude.
......& all I seen, on my tv screen, is catastrophe.
Whats worse is I understand the fear thats cashing in.
With every media station clinging onto the slightlest incling.
Blurring fact from fiction, till truths hacked & blistered.
& labled insignifigant with a journelist certificate.
Hear me? Plus people dont give half a shit anymore.
Kids having babies, going crazy left in tears on the floor.
Maybe our minds gone from losing that feel of innocents.
Maybe our spines torn, from gluing your face to time bombs.
Like cancer, ignorance is not the answer its an anthlem.
Imagine, what would happen, if every man took action.
In a passionate fashion, opposed of procrastination.
Instead these problems exist in every free world nation.
Kids dont learn skill, with their head stuck to playstations.
Aswell were in a world where the povertys real.
& every man & his dog wants to hip-- hop on a deal.
I feel I grew up too fast -- starin through my rearview.
Remember time come to pass, when I used to hardly care dude.
I'm careful, how I speak signifigant, indescriminate.
Sometimes I'm sick of lacking innocents, wishing for blissful ignorance.


Is a wise mind a blessing or a curse.
Thats the rhetorical question thats pressed in this verse.

Overall

From hells view, were open wide enough for them to get through.
But give an inch, they take a mile remember that dude.

Instead these problems exist in every free world nation.
Kids dont learn skill, with their head stuck to playstations.

I'm careful, how I speak signifigant, indescriminate.
Sometimes I'm sick of lacking innocents, wishing for blissful ignorance.

^ 3 bars that made me go wow...this was some nice stuff Nos held it on point i think your approach was a lot stronger than Rev's also rhyming was a lot better 1st bar i quoted was perhaps the best bar in your verse because it jus screamed ignorant at me...this was a decent topical battle...props to both...the way you described world events Nos and other factors really won it for you in my opinion because it's describing real things that happen in real life...your verse Nos had a lot more complexity to it and also strengthened the topic which was a deciding factor in my vote decision...

V/Nostradamus...
__________________


Quote:
Originally Posted by High Dro
furthermore, june 3rd is the only good day to be born

^ Amen Brother ^

Quote:
Originally Posted by ∆ P E X X
i'm still tryin to figure out how bein born in another country makes somebody fake.

R.I.P OMB

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