Voted For: Intermental

pussy.. why you on a collision course wit the best/
if you act like a action hero I won't neglect to put the 'fantastic 4' to ya chest/
^^^2nd line too long....and whack
intermental will change his ways when Law round/
either that or catch more strays then a fuccin' dog pound/
^^^OK......set up suked
you done mastered frontin' ta' people/
you mind as well try out for Football in Philly cause it's the only way you runnin' wit 'eagles'/
^^^OK.....again....set up bad
yo skills are limited how you gon diss me b?/
when I pop I bet Intermental a drop like Dirk Nowitzki 3/
^^^nah...forced rhyme,too sloppy
then I'll keep unloadin' hollows/
talk shit and get 'capped' like a fuckin' Coca Cola bottle/
^^too unoriginal

Fix ya structure up.U had too many stretched lines.U got a basic rhyme sheme.Punches worded bad.Had some forced rhymes.Set up in the punches were horrible.

The only time lawless wud beat me is like david blaine and usin drastic magic,
My punches smack him in his stomach and now hes coughing up lactic acid,
^^^nice multi....decent punch
Does he realise he battlin me.......Its like I sprayed mase in his eyes,
Hes like R Kelly, He thinks he can beat me, he really believes he can fly
^^Set it up good....but punch lacked
Yo its a mistake battlin me cos imma expose u like eve and that sex tape,
you a fake, Yo jus write Inter in ure "notable losses" cos it seem like fate
^^nah...set up was too unoriginal and it suked
Mix lawless with rap and we automatically dissolve this,
Cos it dont go well together but he can't control shit,
^^this ur worst line
Im kickin this guys ass with my shoes where the hole at?
Look at his shoes..............now wheres his soul (sole) at........,
^^OK....but you shoulda used shoes once only
He tryin to teach "tha law" but lawless full of "flaw",
So check youreself, i thought u waz hard, what you runnin for
^^OK.......
you wack and clear to see through like dasani too/
get outta line and CSI uh' tuck you in cover like ya Mommy do/
^^OK
I can fucc you up..... ONE VERSE... lend a pencil/
or I can snuff you up... ONE HURSE.... after the shots "inter" "mental"/
^^^GANGSTA TALK!!
U had some gangsta talk and one line that appeared to glorify.U had better flow and structure at beginning.But the reason I think ya got this is because of harder hittin punches.

Vote-Inter
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http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=199136